Saturday, November 24, 2007

"if a butterfly flutters in China"

click to enlargeDear Audrey, We have known about you since June 26th, 2007. In our prayers we have known about you since we started in February of 2006. We so want to hold you in our arms. We made a decision a few months into this process to seek out a special little girl. We were shocked when we got the call that you could be ours. You are so beautiful, you are indeed special. You are an angel, like our 4 other little blessings. Like them, you will become our life's work. You were left alone and you were found. You aren't alone now, but you haven't yet been found again until we are with you. You won't be alone ever again. Emma, Alena, Owen and Hugh can't wait to have their little sister here. Dune and Mocha (your labs) have been starving for scraps from a highchair for two years, they can't wait....well to eat. Your older sisters can't wait to share their dolls. The boys are fighting over who's room you will sleep in. 10yrs ago, November 1, we were married. A commitment for life. We knew we wanted a family, we didn't know how much our love would bring us to love even more than we thought possible. The more we open ourselves to our children's love, the more we can love. We hope to travel to you around that same time, the only anniversary gift, to hold you. We say our Novena to the Holy Spirit, to inspire those who control your fate, to bring us to you, so we can bring you home. It's a strange and different land but we will do everything to make it yours. Love, Mom and Dad


Friday, November 23, 2007

Audrey's "Finding Ad"




We believe this is Audrey's Finding Ad. In China, each abandoned baby's picture is published in a local newspaper with the date she was found. Her gender is listed, we haven't begun to interpret the other characters. I am certain they say, destined to be loved!

Audrey would be the little girl on the left, date of her finding we know was 9/05/2006, so the dates seem to match and the picture is not too foreign from the one you see posted on the front of our site.. Since we learned about her birthday--8/21/06--every significant day for her, is a day we wonder where we were, what we were doing. We always knew these dates would have a certain randomness too them...we keep searching for those little signs that tell us we were always destined for her. We believe we are as destined as we were for our 4 older children.

Any number of infinite possibilities exist when you bring a baby into this world. For us the process of adoption is no different. We know God had something to do with our first 4 blessings--the miracle that is birth, but it isn't predetermined, nature runs its course at conception and you have the baby you have. There are a lot of deterministic things posted on the blogs, chats and email strings of adoptive parents..."in God's time, in Him every time the wind changes direction, and so on..." I certainly understand the sentiment, but with so much variation in people's experience...3yr waits or 6mos waits, 4 week LOAs or 4 month turnarounds, 2month waits for Special Needs or 12month waits, a perfect file or a file w/ one missing item, smooth sailing or lost files or files stuck in adoption purgatory, it's hard to accept that this is somehow more than just human beings managing a bureaucracy bigger than they are. The US gov't, the Chinese gov't, the AWAA..forms, rules, mailings, signatures, process upon process all add up to a wildly random set of possible circumstances that could either benefit or punish the anxious adoptive parent. I see no good reason after learning of our daughter in June, why we should still be waiting for our travel date 5 mos later. I thank God every day for the blessings he has bestowed, I ask the Blessed Mother for patience and the Holy Spirit for the will to act more Christ-like in my everyday words, thoughts and deeds. I try not to blame him for every micro event and every once in awhile i act on those prayers and my life is always better for it. It's a team effort, God betting on me, that i will find the right way to live, and me assuming that it isn't so random that i can't make a few things happen bc well....i want too.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Us


click to enlarge
Oda
click to enlarge
M-Z and Bain-Z
click to enlarge
Hoo-B
click to enlarge
Mocha and Dune



Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Still Waiting

Still waiting for TA
November 13, 2007

Today would have been the first chance as getting a TA . . . although still early, we were hoping to tag onto a travel group leaving this week. Doesn't look like we'll make it. TA's usually come on Tuesdays, but as we have found out things don't always follow a specific plan. Hard to say that if our TA were to come next Tuesday, if we could still travel on Thanksgiving? Anyway, it's been a little more relaxing even with all the things to remember for travel, just knowing she is our daughter is such a hugh relief. Last week brought another birthday for me and the end of Emma's field hockey season. She did awesome!!! She really got in a rythmn the second half of the season. Her team won the final game and Emma scored both of their goals. Owen continues with skating lessons so he can move into hockey this winter. Alena and Emma are both still dancing and we're hoping to get Alena into gymnastics or possibly a sport this winter. Hugh continues, well . . . . , being Hugh. All things Star Wars, Cars and Scooby Doo continue to be of special interest to him. Emma's 4th grade class put on a wonderful musical for us to enjoy last night. Go West was the theme. They did a great job. We have some turkey dinner lunches to attend at the school as well as attend some special activities in Owen's Kindergarten class this week. So things are still hopping at the Lokar house.

Reality Setting In
November 02, 2007

Although, the call came yesterday, the package arrived this morning from AWAA with the precious "Letter of Seeking Confirmation from Adopter". It's amazing how much power a single piece of paper holds. With all the documents, doctor's visits, forms, trips to DC, home visits, photos, copies, and the trips to our local UPS store, waiting, hoping and wondering, it all comes down to just two pieces of paper that mean the world. The 171H . . . the most unofficial looking thing but it means we are approved by USCIS to bring a child to the US and the RA which means Audrey is matched to our family. Tom and Hugh made the important trip back to AWAA with our signed document to be sent on to the CCAA Monday morning. Now, just one more approval and an appointment with the Consulate in Guangzhou and we can book flights. Still hoping for sooner than the end of November . . . it will be tough.

10th Wedding Anniversary & LOA
November 01, 2007

Wow! What an unbelievable day. Most importantly we are celebrating our 10th Anniversary, because without that the rest of this would not be possible. We've had quite an adventure these past 10 years and it's only getting better. To top that, we finally received the call we've been waiting for since we saw our daughter's face this past June. It has been a tough wait, but the call came @ 1PM today and we have our LOA. Three simple letters that mean the world in adoption. Roughly translated, Audrey is now "officially" ours. No more time to wonder why it took so long, why others got their so quickly and wondering if she would really be ours. We will now just wait for travel approval (TA) and we'll be on a plane to China. TA's usually take about 2-3 weeks, we can always hope it comes quicker. Time to get organized and get serious about packing and triple checking all our documents! We won't bore you with the specifics. Our heads are still spinning trying to take it all in again.

Monday Again
October 29, 2007

We had a good weekend. Emma's field hockey game was cancelled due to the rain so it was a little relaxing this morning. Owen started his next round of skating lessons. Tom took the boys, while I took the girl's for pedicures. Saturday turned into a busy day of running errands for the kids. Each of them have a project to do for school which is due Monday. Tom and I were able to snag a babysitter so got to get out for a couple hours which is nice. Sunday turned out to be just as busy and then day flew by. We've had some great fall weather the past couple of days and it looks like it will continue through the week. Hugh has party's Tuesday and Wednesday. Emma, Alena and Owen all have something going on at the school Wednesday. It is supposed to be sunny and 70 on Wednesday so we should be good for Halloween!! Trying to pass the time a little this afternoon . . . it's 3:30 which means we're running out of time to hear any good news from China today. The balance of the families (except the 4 of us) are either in China or traveling this week. Happy for them they get their children, very hard for us not knowing when we'll go. Having Audrey home for Thanksgiving is almost not possible and even Christmas is questionable? Our Agency was able to request some updated information on Audrey, so at the very least we hope to have that some time this week. They sent in for translation last Friday. No pictures, but hopefully some updated size,health information.

Tom's Birthday
October 24, 2007

Kind of a dreary day in Virginia. We are getting some much needed rain as we are under water restrictions. Good thing Tom got a bikeride in the other day. Owen and I are working on the cake this morning while Hugh is at "Spanish" preschool. Much easier to gets things done without all of his help. Just a quiet dinner at home as things have been a little crazy the past couple of weeks. Day 107 wait for our LOA, but who's counting anymore. Not much chance of hearing anything this week, so our best chance at any updated information might come Monday or Tuesday. Typically LOA's arrived early in the week, but then they started coming throughout the week, so who knows. We think our dossier is through review, but until the CCAA posts officially or someone tells us or our LOA arrives, we won't know. Just to pass the time I was talking with Carla, who is in the same boat we are, and we did a little on-line shopping together. New outfits for our girls. Well, Alena should be home any minute and the chicken should be done so it's just about dinnertime.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Waiting

Not Today
October 22, 2007

Day 105 into our wait for RA. Not much to say, we still are waiting. Another spectacular day of weather. Hugh had Spanish pre-school this morning so Owen and I went grocery shopping and then spent time working on his homework before school. After Owen went to school, I picked up Hugh and we just ran some errands, got lunch and just played. Another good day.


14 Months Old
October 21, 2007

Audrey is 14 months old today. Thought for sure she would either be home or we would be traveling right around this time to get her. We had a beautiful weekend here in Virginia. The weather was spectacular. Emma scored 2 (almost 3) goals in her Field Hockey game. Owen finished up his latest series in ice skating. He'll move onto the next level and we should be able to start him officially in Mini-Mites hockey soon. Alena went to a birthday party at a brand new Pump It Up (Bounce Place) and had a blast. Hugh continues to keep us on our toes. He is really fun right now. He's doing great in pre-school and has also started Spanish pre-school. We're going to get him started in ice skating and also swim lessons this winter. Alena and Emma continue to have fun doing dance and we're looking to get Alena into gymnastics. Both Alena and Owen and field trips the same day, but different pumpkin patches and Tom split his time between the two. I stayed back with Hugh and got ready for book club (this past Friday) and got him to Little Gym and his afternoon art class.

Just Not Our Time Yet
October 16, 2007

We received an update from AWAA today. No good news and no real answer. All we know is we are NOT in the matching room (the place our file would need to be to receive RA). This means we are still in the review room and it appears no one from the CCAA feels the urgency to pull our file out and move it along despite our LID being skipped over. Many others with LID's of Oct/06, Nov 06 and even into 2007 have received approvals. The CCAA won't commit to anything so we just continue to wait.



Still Nothing
October 15, 2007

We have seen some other agency receive RA's, again for dates later than us, but still nothing for our family and some other families from our ageny with September 2006 LID's. The wait continues to be tough.



More Waiting
October 11, 2007

We were so hoping to hear some news by today. The only thing we found out is the person who signs LOA's/RA's is out this week. So we just continue to wait.

Still Waiting
October 01, 2007

After already waiting beyond what we initially expected for our RA, we were informed today for our agency we were "skipped over". What this means is families with LID's after our received their RA's and we didn't. To make it even worse, the CCAA is closed this week. So it won't be until middle of next week when we might hear something.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Audrey's Birthday

Audrey's Birthday
August 21, 2007

It's our daughter's birthday and Tom and I are sitting in the lovely USCIS office to have our fingerprints done again. Hopefully we'll have her soon.